It’s quiet when I slowly wake up and carefully open my eyes. The big road that runs behind my house is still peaceful. Thoughts about life, things to do and so much more are racing through my mind. Is it late? Or is it so late that it’s already early again? It takes me a moment or two to completely orient myself. I can’t sleep. My duvet is still keeping me warm to the tips of my toes, but I know I’ll leave my bed soon. My body is screaming for sleep, begging for rest, but my mind is wide awake. My mind is forcing me to get up, to start the day, to finally get things done.
It’s early when I stumble into the kitchen in my pyjamas to make coffee. I rub my eyes and have to yawn. This isn’t the first time I’ve woken up this early. It’s been going on for years: periods of no sleep mixed with periods of sleeping in or just not waking up. Something like a normal rhythm is hard to find. I don’t know what to do anymore. For now, the only solution is getting up early. My thoughts are racing but maybe, I think, some music will help.
Four classical string quartets later, my mind still hasn’t calmed down. I’m ready for a new day, but everyone else seems to still be asleep. It’ll be another five hours or so before the city slowly begins to wake up and the serene rest is over. With a large cup of coffee in my hands, I start typing a new piece of writing, but it’s difficult to concentrate and focus on writing right now.
At the same time, I can extremely enjoy these early mornings – the calmness and quietness around me. But I also know that I shouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night every day. It’s been a frustration for a long time, but I managed to find peace in it and enjoy the moments I have while everyone else is still far away in the land of dreams.
Jo Haas, second-year student of Health Sciences