When instead of riding your bike to uni or the library every day, your 'sports' mainly consists of walking to the kitchen to get more milk to dip your cookies in (the cookies you already keep in your room, after all, anything else would require too much effort), you just know that the time has come to check out what UM Sports has to offer this year. And so, my old UM Sports card in hand (I wanted to demonstrate loyalty), I got on my bike and mastered the great distance to Randwijk. It was Zumba night, and I was going to be there.
After waiting in line outside for a few minutes, I was finally asked to come to the counter to scan my barcode and confirm my reservation. Unfortunately, I had neither of those. Still in the mindset of three years ago when I walked through the UM Sports doors for the very first time, I assumed that simply showing up and showing a sincere interest in bettering my life through sports (in combination with money) would provide me with all the luxuries I was used to. But alas, while I was still stuck in 2017, UM Sports is already living in the future.
After 10 minutes of trying and clicking myself through the updated online portal, I was finally able to buy a new membership. I thought I was back on track.
"What membership would you like?", they asked politely.
"Basic plus Sports, please", I answered confidently.
"Basic no longer exists."
All in all, it took me 20 minutes from going through the first door into UM Sports to going through the last door into the exercise hall, ready for Zumba. I thought I had mastered it all.
For 20 minutes, we were doing our thing. Then, a staff member entered the exercise hall, quietly approached the instructor and the two chatted for what felt like 5 minutes. What about? I personally thought that there was a volume issue - after all, it felt like my tympanic membrane was doing the workout as much as I was. But that wasn't it. Instead, the word Corona popped up again. Who would have guessed?
We were 20 in the exercise hall. The maximum to keep a proper distance is 15. Simple math told us that 5 had to go. I'm still in awe by the solution that was found: after every song, 5 people left the room and the 5 people that were waiting outside came back in. Sometimes, songs were played twice so that people that were waiting outside were able to dance to it too.
Only, the people outside weren't waiting. We were dancing. A small window allowed us to see the instructor inside. The music was so loud that the whole neighborhood could have joined in, so that wasn't an issue either. And so, I played the air guitar and shook my body in front of confused squash players that seemed too bewildered to play.
UM Sports promised us that this glitch in the system is a one-time thing. I sincerely hope not.
Jesler van Houdt