The presentation of Ras fits exactly into the theme; it's about setting boundaries. And that is often very necessary when you are cooking with your partner. One of the ways to deal with your partner's limits is to put things into perspective: "Do I really care if we cook with two pans instead of one?"
Ras's tips and tricks are no rocket science, but it's good for freshmen to hear them out loud. The seven present during this first round of twenty minutes listen attentively and ask questions. For example, when it comes to wrong ways of setting boundaries. Ras: “Some do it in an aggressive, loud way. Others are too soft, not concrete enough, and they let people walk all over them.” Someone raises her hand. She says she thinks she can be on both sides of the spectrum. She hits the nail on the head, says Ras. “How you set your boundaries is different for every person.”
What also doesn't help is making assumptions, Ras explains. “They won't accept me if I say 'no'. Or “I hurt others when I set boundaries.” In fact, “making assumptions often leads to resentment and that's a shame because people usually understand when you don't want something.”
What should you do then? Taking a constructive attitude: “’I don't like these herbs very much. What do you think of these herbs?’ instead of ‘not these herbs’.” However, in some cases it is okay to be very short and to the point. For example, when it comes to sex: “I don't want this.” What visitors should definitely take home today: “You don't need a reason to say 'no'. A personal boundary is an uncomfortable feeling and feeling cannot always be reasoned.”