“Being a woman in Maastricht must really suck”, laughs Bill who has been living in Maastricht for two years now. Like the other students interviewed for this article he preferred to stay anonymous as this is a personal topic – their full names are known by the editorial staff.
He heard about the Maastricht Syndrome situation before coming here and has concluded that "there is indeed a significant sexual frustration in the city amongst women. I think we can all picture very well how young men function. On top of that, it is extremely easy for heterosexual men to date in this city. I can speak from personal experience since I haven’t had any difficulties in this regard either. The fact that there is an imbalance between women and men definitely reinforces this problem. I have witnessed my female friends lowering their standards so much - and they are quite aware of it.”
Mediocre
“I’m a victim of that, too,” second-year bachelor’s student Alexandra agrees laughing. “Dating has been rough. When I came here I thought it would be nice to have a boyfriend, but then I realized that most guys don’t want that here. The guys that were available were pretty mediocre, and I realized that if I wanted to get some kind of affection or intimacy, I need to settle for them.”
When asked about what specifically characterizes as mediocre, Alexandra states that it’s a combination of both looks and personality: “I don’t want to be superficial, but there is not a large amount of good looking guys. And on top of that, they know they can do whatever they want because we don’t have options, so you have to deal with how they want it to go.”
She further believes that the lack of women has a greater negative impact on the personality of the few men left. “Since girls have to adapt, the ugly guys get with the pretty girls and they think they’re gods and it creates an arrogant character. They then get upset and petty when you reject them.”
Other reasons
“I think that it’s not just the lack of women that causes the Maastricht Syndrome issue”, says second-year student Samuel. He believes it has also something to do with people actively avoiding relationships. "Of course, we are young adults who still feel a bit lost with ourselves and want to constantly experience new things. Some people here see relationships as scary because they would limit their freedom in many ways. Others are afraid of their attachment issues. But on the other hand, I don’t really understand it. It saddens me a bit because they may be losing a future with a very important person who was willing to stay by their side.”
Hook-up culture
With that many students not wanting a relationship, it will come as no surprise that there is quite a hook-up culture; people just getting together for a one-night-stand or being friends with benefits, friends who occasionally sleep with each other.
Second-year Manuela finds herself in what she calls a ‘situationship’. “We’re not exclusive, but I do not feel the need or want to go out and see other people,” she confesses. When discussing hook-up culture, Manuela feels that in Maastricht it’s not as strong as in other university cities: “When I talk to my friends in France, or the UK, they seem to have many more random one-night stands than me and my friends here.” She does comment, however, that her perception of it might be biased by her friend-group.
Task
Alexandra thinks that is indeed the case. “I have not heard about anything similar from my friends in other cities. Hook-up culture here is a kind of unspoken 'task' to complete”, she says. “For me, it’s very related to the partying environment. In all the parties I’ve been to, you cannot relax, because it feels like everyone has the same goal. You show up and scout the room for possible interests. As a girl, you repeatedly get talked to and flirted with, but only for casual sex, nothing more. There is a separation between hook-ups and everything else in life.”
Samuel recognises that from his first year. "I was only 18 when I arrived in Maastricht and let’s say, not very experienced with girls. But my friends were quite integrated into this hook-up culture since the beginning. I thought at the time that this was completely normal and wanted to be a part of it; I felt a bit under pressure. I had one night stands before meeting my girlfriend.”
Online dating
The idea that people are just looking for casual sex expands to apps like Tinder and Bumble. Manuela decided to delete them again after an unsuccessful try. “People were looking specifically for sexual relationships, that was not what I was interested in, I mainly wanted to get to know people and make friends.”
Second-year Tristan, who is in a long-distance relationship, has a similar experience. He downloaded Tinder during lockdown. “My girlfriend – we’ve been together three years – thought this would be a good way for me to meet new people in Maastricht. I would get a lot of swipes, but as soon as they found out that I’m just trying to make friends, they’d ghost me (No longer responding to messages, ed.).”
Is there still hope then, for the singles in Maastricht, longing for love? Perhaps – as some who have been benefitting from the situation are getting tired of it. Like Bill, who feels he’s done with casual dating. “I didn’t have a relationship when I arrived, so I started to make friends of course. As time went by, I found myself taking things beyond the friendships. But at this point, it is just a bunch of names, that is not what I am looking for.”
Natalia Rubio and Maria Zaccarian