Once a Roman, always a Roman. I was born and raised in Rome, and it will always be my favourite city. Outsiders might see chaos, traffic and litter, but I see romance, history and monuments. Whenever I visit, I take an early morning walk through the city centre to soak up the atmosphere and recharge. But would I ever move back? I came to Maastricht in 2014 to see what it’s like to live outside Italy, following my sister who had moved to Eindhoven to study. My parents were happy for me until they started to feel my absence – I’d always been very present. Every now and then my mother asks if I’ll ever move back, but it’s not going to happen. I wouldn’t be able to adjust anymore. Recently, I had to renew my Italian ID card. The process was unclear, they kept sending me from one municipal office to another, and I had to argue to get anything done. It took the whole day. “That’s just how things are here”, my parents said, but I’ll take Dutch efficiency over that any day.
"I prefer having a few good friends I can always count on to being surrounded by people I barely know"
What makes you grumpy? Dreary weather gets me down. When that happens, I’ll meet up with a friend to have drinks and cook whatever’s in the fridge. Eating isn’t just about feeding yourself; it’s about spending time together and sharing what’s going on in your lives. Friendship is very important to me. I have a few close friends here that I can always count on. I prefer that to being surrounded by people I barely know, or having to schedule plans well in advance – and settling on a date three weeks later if you’re lucky.
Car or bicycle? Can I pick something in between? I have a motor scooter, a Vespa, very Italian. And of course I have a bike, and I love cycling in nature, but sometimes a car is just more convenient. Do I really have to choose? Fine, I’ll say car. I’m not lazy, but sometimes it’s nice when things are easy.
"I meditate once or twice a week, just quietly reflecting on what's going on in my life"
Which book do you like to reread? Siddharta, a novel about Buddha’s life. On a flight to Rome for my grandmother’s funeral, I got talking to the woman sitting next to me. She recommended the book, saying it might help me. I thought, “We’ll see”, but she was right – it changed my life. It taught me that life isn’t one fixed path you have to follow. Instead of doing what others want, you need to take time to discover what you truly want deep down. I’m very present and talkative, but I meditate once or twice per week. Not sitting cross-legged on a blanket or anything, just quietly reflecting on what’s going on in my life. I need that to be able to enjoy my work and my relationships with other people.
My ideal partner… makes me feel at home. Being open and honest is essential, no matter how difficult it can be. My longest relationship lasted ten years, and we thought we’d be together for the rest of our lives. But I ended it; the love was gone, and you have to be honest about that, to keep a clear conscience and not toy with the other person’s emotions. I also think it’s important to give each other space to live your own lives, without worrying that they’ll leave. [Laughs] And a passion for food wouldn’t hurt either.
"Of course, there are days when I just want to stay in bed and never get up again"
Optimist or pessimist? Optimist! I love helping people. We often think, “This is my life, I have to do everything myself”, but we’re part of a community. Last week, there was a 26-year-old guy at the coffee bar who was going back to university. He was nervous about it, so I told him, “You’ve taken a brave step, keep it up!” I’m sure that once he realises that, he’ll pay it forward.
Of course, there are days when I just want to stay in bed and never get up again. In 2016, a friend and I opened an Italian coffee bar here in Maastricht. It was a dream I worked so hard for and sacrificed so much to achieve. When we had to close due to the pandemic, I found it really difficult to accept. It took me a year to realise that complaining is easy, but I’d done everything I could. If life says “no”, you have to accept that. And since you never know what the future holds, you might as well get back up and try something new.