“We are seeing a certain level of condom fatigue among young people”, says Dewitte. The 2023 Sex Under the Age of 25 study by Rutgers, the Netherlands Centre on Sexuality, revealed that 40 per cent of young people never use condoms. And in 2024, the Dutch TV programme Spuiten en Slikken asked five hundred young people if they had used protection the last time they had penetrative sex; only 49 per cent said yes. “They believe condoms ruin the spontaneity of sex, or reduce sensation.”
Part of the seduction process
That’s all nonsense, says Dewitte. According to her, condom use is “non-negotiable. Modern condoms are incredibly thin and come in a variety of sizes. Find one that’s comfortable for you. Bringing up contraception can be part of the seduction process, but it’s also just a matter of getting used to it. And just like with explicitly verbally establishing mutual consent, the more people do it, the more normal it becomes.”
Huge red flag
Dewitte also has little patience for excuses like “But you’re not at risk of getting pregnant” or “Do I look like I have an STI?” “Enjoyable sex happens in a safe context, and contraceptive use is part of that. Condoms are the only way to prevent sexually transmitted infections. If someone tries to persuade you to have sex without one, they don’t respect you. That’s a huge red flag. This is about your body and your health, so you’re the one who sets the terms. Make sure you’re prepared and always bring your own condoms. Being assertive isn’t weak – on the contrary, it’s sexy. And if someone doesn’t find that attractive, you should ask yourself if you really want to have sex with them.”
Exclusively
What about in a relationship? Is there a point where you can stop using condoms together? “Talk about it first. Agree that from now on, you’ll exclusively have sex with each other. Or, if you’re in an open relationship, agree to use condoms with other sex partners. Depending on your sexual history, it might also be a good idea to get tested for STIs first.”