I spend most of my money on… rent. Living anywhere is terribly expensive. My girlfriend and I share a place and split the costs, although I pay a bit less than she does. I don’t have a steady income while I’m still studying. In eighteen months, I’ll qualify as a junior doctor. We recently moved to Den Bosch, which is a central location for both my hospital placement in Helmond and my girlfriend’s job. The city reminds me of Maastricht. Moving in together was probably the best decision I’ve ever made. I was stuck in the student lifestyle, and living with Simone gave me the structure and routine I needed to break out of that cycle.
I’m the one who cooks at home. I used to have a side job as a waiter at the Kruisherenhotel in Maastricht, where I often watched the chefs at work. When I first started university, I learnt to cook and discovered how much I enjoy it. Now, I regularly prepare six- or seven course meals. My friends and family always know where to find me at Christmas, though I don’t like spending the whole time alone in the kitchen – I’ll pull someone away from the table to keep me company. A good dinner takes a lot of preparation and time, but I also want to enjoy it myself. By the way, my favourite food is pizza. It’s a guilty pleasure.
"When I was diagnosed, I finally had a name for what I was experiencing"
All people with ADHD are hyperactive. That’s a common stereotype. I have ADD, a subtype of ADHD characterised by a quieter, more inward-focused nature. I may seem very dreamy, but my mind is always racing with thoughts. I was diagnosed eighteen months ago, after a long period of uncertainty. I’d known for a while that something wasn’t right, and during the pandemic, I developed panic attacks and anxiety. I went to see a psychologist, but things didn’t improve – I became depressed. My therapist asked if I’d ever been tested for ADHD, as undiagnosed adults often develop anxiety. After a whole battery of tests and interviews about my ability to focus when I was in school, I was eventually diagnosed with ADD.
The diagnosis was a relief. It was, for those around me as well – my girlfriend had a partner who was no longer himself. I finally had a name for what I was experiencing and could learn to manage it with cognitive behavioural therapy and medication. It was such a relief to finally have some quiet in my head again. It’s impossible to focus when you’re constantly struggling with anxiety and panic. I fell behind in my studies. At one point, before I was diagnosed, my student adviser told me, “I’m not going to flog a dead horse.” Things are very different now – I’ve completely turned my life around.
"I didn't inherite my love for classical music from my parents, they find it boring"
When was the last time you laughed out loud? Just the other day, watching a show by Dutch comedian Ronald Goedemondt. A lot of comedians rely on insults and mockery to get laughs. He keeps it personal. I relate to his struggles with everyday life.
I always turn up the music. Definitely! My taste in music is really varied. I listen to everything from Chopin and hardstyle – fast electronic music similar to hardcore – to chart hits. I have a curious mind, and certain songs bring back good memories. I didn’t grow up with classical music, though – my parents find it boring.
The hardest conversation I’ve ever had with my parents… [Pauses] …was about whether I should drop out of university. I had to repeat my first year three times. After the second time, my parents asked if maybe I should quit. By the third time, they wanted to know if I had a plan B. But I was determined to study Medicine – I wouldn’t settle for anything else. I’m proud that I stuck with it. I’ve just completed my clinical rotations, and I’m hoping to specialise in gynaecology. My mother saw me struggle, watched me go from a happy child to a struggling student. She was afraid she was losing me, but now my parents can breathe easily again.
"I don't judge; that's why friends tell me things they won't share with anyone else"
When we were younger, my brother and I were always at each other’s throats. I have a full biological brother, a half-brother and two half-sisters. My full brother and I used to fight all the time. I was the youngest and rather jealous. If he built a toy racetrack and I couldn’t, I’d destroy it out of spite. I’d get mad when I lost a game, but when we were old enough to play video games together, we became best friends. And we still are. We’re very different – he’s quieter and more reserved, whereas I’m more outgoing and social in group settings. But he’s always there for me when I need him.
What makes you a good friend? I’m very loyal. I don’t judge; I’m mostly just curious. I like to know what’s going on with my friends. They tell me things they wouldn’t share with anyone else. They say I’m someone they can truly open up to.
What makes you nervous? Telling my story. Especially when it comes to medication – people have all sorts of assumptions, like, “Oh, you’re just popping pills to help you study.” The first time I opened up about my story and diagnosis, I was very nervous. But the reactions were positive. It’s nice to think I might be able to help others who are going through the same thing by creating more understanding.