I may have agreed to this interview, but… I don’t like being the centre of attention, even if people tend to assume otherwise. When I was 16 or 17, a girl I didn’t know came up to me at Nuth Train Station and said, ‘You seem so confident.’ Apparently, that’s the impression I give off, but I don’t always feel that way inside. One of my duties as a director is to give speeches, which I absolutely hate. I prepare them well, but I just can’t seem to deliver them spontaneously. It’s a kind of stage fright. This isn’t to say I’m not self-confident, though – I am, but more in some areas than others. My strength lies in building relationships with people, which is probably why I ended up at FS. I naturally give people a lot of attention and a bit of love. It comes easily to me.
A bit of love alone can’t fix everything. I’m the seventh director of FS in ten years, and the first woman. It’s a fascinating department, with around two hundred employees across different locations and with a wide range of tasks. Each group, from real estate to procurement to so-called “soft services” like catering and reception, has its own culture. I can never give them all personal love, though I wish I could, because it would benefit us all. Sometimes I have to deliver difficult messages, which isn’t something I enjoy, but I do it. And when issues arise, I get the people involved around the table and say, “You all know what’s going on – it’s time to talk.”
I don’t have time to keep a diary. My first diary entry dates back to 1976, when I was eleven. I still keep a diary. I’ve filled 74 notebooks, stored in big plastic boxes. For years, I’ve struggled with the question of what to do with them. There’s a lot in there I wouldn’t want anyone else to read. My mother always said, “Catharien, just get rid of them.” As a child, she’d spent time in an air-raid shelter where residents had stored boxes of their belongings. She remembered someone pulling out a diary and reading it aloud. Awful. But throwing mine away? [Laughs] I once suggested they be buried with me, but the coffin would be too heavy. I considered burning them, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Last Christmas, I finally started destroying them, starting with the most recent. I’ve shredded fourteen notebooks already. But I’m not sure I’ll be able to part with the ones from when I was 18 to 30, when I was growing into adulthood. So much happened. It would feel like erasing my own life.
I take after… my father, at least in looks. I come from a warm family of four daughters; I’m the second. My parents had the kind of marriage you can only hope for. They were a real team. My father was a bit rough around the edges and came from a large, hardworking family. My mother’s side was in education. She was a teacher, did the bookkeeping for my father’s transport business and took care of the family. She was the softer one. If my father was angry with a driver and had a mind to fire him, my mother stepped in as the peacemaker. I’ve inherited that from her.
What’s the first thing you do when you get home? I take off my shoes and start cooking. I hate cooking. I work long hours; I start early – I’m a morning person – and get home around six or seven. Bert doesn’t cook. He can’t and won’t. He’s incredibly smart and funny, hoovers the whole house every Saturday, but cooking? No, although it’d be very sweet of him. He once hired an Italian cook who delivered meals in containers once per week, but after a few months, we got tired of those containers. I tried HelloFresh, but there was so much peeling and grating involved. On the plus side, at least we ate vegetables.
Greatest love? Pieter, my son. I grew up in a family of women. I would’ve loved to have had more sons, but I had several miscarriages – an unspoken grief. The joy I felt when Pieter was born never left me. He’s my everything. There’s no love like it. We’re very close, even now that he’s left home to study in Leiden. He takes after his father – he’s funny, has a strong sense of justice, and is smart, honest, kind and determined.
If I weren’t the director of FS… I’d be a farmer on a big farm, getting up at 4 AM every morning to fry bacon, eggs and black pudding for the farmhands. The rest of the day would be spent not in the kitchen but out in the fields, on a tractor, with my husband. Just fresh air, no stress. My job isn’t easy; I can never fully switch off from it. It makes you long for a simple, nature-filled life.
I’m obsessed with… chocolate. Do you know how much a bar of Côte d’Or costs? €4.69 – outrageous, but it doesn’t stop me eating it. How much chocolate I eat? Definitely too much. [A little while later, a colleague walks in with a slice of rijstevlaai. CK laughs: “I should put a ‘Do Not Feed’ sign on my door.”] I also love perfume. Right now, I’m wearing Aromatics Elixer by Clinique, one of my mother’s favourites. I have a drawer full of perfumes; each scent reminds me of someone in my life. Bert is Chanel No. 5. I was wearing it when I met him. Every morning and evening, I decide what I feel like and dab on a few drops. Even at night. [Chuckles] What did Marilyn Monroe wear to bed? Chanel No 5.