June 4th, 2025
Exactly three years ago, I graduated high school. On Saturday, the 4th of June 2022, I walked onstage to Abba’s Our Last Summer, beaming with elation as I accepted my IB diploma. As one profound chapter in my life came to an end, the next began with a formal announcement revealing my next academic endeavour.
Funnily enough, this next academic endeavour could’ve been wrapped up today, exactly three years later. Well, perhaps not quite, as my graduation will only be taking place on the 28th of November — and only once I’ve fulfilled all the necessary criteria for my degree. However, today was supposed to be the day where I submitted my bachelor’s thesis.
Champagne popping
I walked by my campus today to pick up my graduation hoodie. In the courtyard, I could see members of the graduation committee unboxing bottles of prosecco in preparation of UCM’s annual “champagne popping ceremony”. Several of my peers were already lingering in the hallway, giddy from the submission of what can only be described as the most substantial assessment during our time at university.
I left through the back door with a heavy heart, a pit in my stomach, and barely suppressed tears. Unfortunately, I would not be attending the ceremony alongside my friends. Due to personal reasons, I fell behind on my thesis — forcing me to take a step back and request an extension.
Too burnt out
However, even with the extension granted to me, I’m struggling to finish on time. Sitting here now, I’m teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown. My fingers seem to be moving in autopilot, writing down the thoughts that my brain is too burnt out to fully comprehend. I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’ve failed, and how terrified I am of disappointing my thesis advisor, my parents, myself.
Certainly I’m not the only one who feels this way. Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us when we least expect it. Plans unravel, hurdles appear out of nowhere, and sometimes, despite our best efforts, we fall behind. It’s a bitter truth that I have yet to accept — trying my hardest won’t always look the way I want it to. For now, all I can do is breathe, refocus, and keep writing.
Robin van Wasen, student at UCM