Describe your perfect Sunday. I wake up early, around six, and start the day with breakfast in bed while watching a sitcom together. Then it’s time for a walk, after which I work on one of my side projects, like my newsletter. My research focuses on how we can help students make the most of their time at university while also becoming well-functioning adults. I went through a big transformation myself during my student years, from someone who didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life to someone with focus and direction. That’s what I hope to pass on to students through my research. I share practical tips in my newsletter. We round the day off by watching F1 together. I used to think it was just cars going round in circles, but Lena – who knows a lot about F1 – showed me there is much more to it.
The best advice I ever received was: When I was younger, if my mother wanted me to try something new and I didn’t feel like it, she’d say, “Just try it once. If you don’t enjoy it, you can quit.” It taught me not to judge something before I’ve experienced it myself. And she was usually right – I often did enjoy it. I ended up doing ten years of taekwondo and still play the guitar today.
"I love the energy children bring into your life"
City or village? Village. I grew up in Frankfurt, and I’d have said city if you’d asked me before I moved to Maastricht. But living in a smaller town has made me realise I love the relative quiet and spending more time outdoors. It’s the little things, like people greeting each other in the street, that make a place feel like home.
I can’t wait to have children. True. The only thing we’re unsure about is whether we’d like two or three children – we’ll see when the time comes. I love the energy children bring into your life. My cousin has two daughters, and playing with them is just the best. I also find it incredible that women can literally bring a new human being into the world, and that you then have both the privilege and the responsibility to prepare that child for a meaningful life as best you can.
Favourite music? Classic rock from the sixties and seventies – The Rolling Stones, The Who, Led Zeppelin. No matter how often I hear their songs, they still move me. I was in two bands in secondary school, playing classic and some more modern rock. Here in Maastricht, I used to go to open mic nights at Café De Pieter. Some conservatory students would kick things off, then invite others to join in after a few songs. Sadly, it didn’t survive the pandemic.
I tell my mother everything. No. Someone once said in this series, “I can tell her anything, but she doesn’t need to know everything.” I couldn’t put it better myself. But it’s wonderful to know that both she and my father are always there for me if things go sideways.
"I was a very energetic child – my teachers even thought I might have ADHD"
Would you rather be rich or famous? Rich. Being famous must be awful. Money isn’t everything, of course, but it does give you the freedom to invest in cool things. If I won the lottery tomorrow, I’d start a company. In psychology, there’s currently a lot of interest in the network approach, where therapists use questionnaires to create a personal network of symptoms for each client as a basis for treatment. That approach could be applied more broadly. People might have the same goal, but the path to achieving it looks different for everyone. Take someone struggling to stick to an exercise routine: I’d love to develop an app that asks you questions over three weeks, then analyses your answers to identify where you’re going wrong and offer personalised advice.
What were you like as a child? Very energetic – my teachers even thought I might have ADHD. Cheerful, most of the time. But I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life; I was interested in lots of things. After taking a gap year, I narrowed it down to three options: architecture, music school or psychology. I spoke with people in each field. Ironically, I decided against music school because my guitar teacher told me I’d probably end up teaching – only for me to end up working at the Institute for Education. I eventually settled on psychology.
"You have a lot of freedom doing a PhD, but it's still not quite enough"
The best and worst thing about doing a PhD. The best thing is how much freedom you have, and the worst is that it’s still not quite enough. I like bringing different disciplines together, but a PhD project needs a clear focus, otherwise it’ll descend into chaos.
Is there life after death? That’s a tough one. I believe there’s something, simply because people across the world have tried to capture it in words and make sense of it through religion, for example. I’m not sure about your soul going to heaven or that you’re reincarnated into another body. But I do think there’s something – some kind of phenomenon so profound it’s beyond our understanding, but which we can intuitively sense.
In ten years… I’ll be a father, and have a job that involves both research and practice. Translating research findings into everyday life is what I enjoy most. We might still be living in Maastricht, but I’d like my children to grow up close to family, which is difficult when you’re 300 kilometres away. And I want to be in a position to care for my parents if they need me.