Among students, the most common conversation openers are always the tedious same: “What’s your name? Where are you from? What do you study?” Recently, I came across a meme about two students going through these exact questions, then walking away without remembering anything about each other. I laughed because it felt so true.
It got me wonder: what is the best way to truly start a conversation?
This question seems to come back to me whenever I find myself meeting plenty of new people – at school, at work, parties, or while travelling. In such situations, these standard openers seem to be nearly unavoidable.
I find them incredibly boring. I get it — they’re the bare minimum you need to know who the other person is. But they’re so conventional, so automatic, that there’s almost no space for creativity. They sound more like job interview prompts than intriguing conversation starters. And yet, I ask them too, because they’re easy and safe.
Still, I can’t help but wonder if there are better ways to begin – ways that let people share their personality, or at least make the exchange a little more interesting. Imagine asking instead: “What’s been the highlight of your week?” or “Have you found a hidden spot on campus you like?” These kinds of questions feel more open, more alive, and a lot more fun to answer.
I’ve noticed that the conversations I remember most never start with the basics. Once, someone in my class asked me out of the blue: “Have you read No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai?” Since I liked the novel, I got hooked on immediately. We ended up having an exciting talk that felt alive in a way most small talk never does. That one random question created a connection because it was specific, personal, and unexpected.
So maybe it’s not about perfect openers at all, but about daring to be curious and letting the talk wander somewhere unexpected – and having fun with it. Next time, I might just skip the formalities and ask: so, which novel do you think everyone should read once in their life?
Yuki Nakamura, third year bachelor student Arts and Culture