For Victor, a second-year Business Engineering, it was love on first sight, Clara, a second-year Maastricht Science Program, wasn’t immediately won over. “I had just moved to a new city, a new apartment, and a new community — jumping into a relationship straight away felt hasty.” The pair became official in late October, but only after a slow burning trail of picnic dates and dreamy walks on top of St. Pietersberg.
Party culture
Clara grew up in the green suburbs of Dublin with a French mum and an Irish dad. Victor’s parents are both Dutch, but he grew up in Jette, one of the Flemish neighbourhoods in Brussels.
Ask Clara about her upbringing and this is what she’ll tell you: the Irish drink and party hard — at 13, she was already going to weekly soirées at her all-girls school. “For many young people in Ireland, going out and getting drunk is the only way to have fun.” Meanwhile, the only wild parties Victor remembers from his teens were those at his summer scout camps (full disclosure to all parents: your kids are not just learning how to light campfires…).
But the tables have turned: Clara feels that she's partied enough, and her ideal Friday nowadays looks more like a scene out of Gilmore Girls. Victor on the other hand is eager to explore Maastricht's nightlife and join in the odd bar-crawl. “Luckily we’re both open and mature”, Clara explains, “so this hasn’t been an issue”.
No Irish or Dutch partners
Neither of them can really imagine being with someone from their own country. “Most Irish stay in Ireland”, says Clara, who attributes this to a mix of national pride and a limited interest in other cultures. This, besides the heavy drinking, has been a real “red flag” for her, turning her away from most Irish guys. For Victor, it’s the subtle condescension he feels from some Flemish girls towards the Netherlands that puts him off. And Dutch girls? A little too “direct” for his taste — he much prefers Clara's alluring mysteriousness.
Ireland and Belgium: two peas in a pod
“Ireland and Belgium are like two peas in a pod”, they say. In both countries the weather is bleak and the food is mid-range; but the people are for the most part tolerant and socially progressive.
Still, there’s very little flag-waving with the two, who feel more like “citizens of the world” than Irish, French, Dutch, or Belgian. Not fitting into the worlds they grew up in: it’s a shared feeling the two bond over.
A great team
“We’re the only couple we know of who got together last year and hasn’t broken up”, Clara points out. Her point is well-made: INKOM-born relationships rarely outlast their first few weeks.
Victor’s patience is important, she says. “My moods swing unpredictably, and I can be quite rigid, but Victor keeps the ship steady.” For Victor, this flexibility comes naturally. “I grew up around two strong-willed women: my mother and my sister”, he reveals. “Clara reminds me of them in many ways.”
They have learned a lot from each other in the past year. “I admire Clara's determination in everything she does”, Victor says, “if she wants something, she’ll work fiercely until she gets it.” This grit has inspired him to pick up one of Clara’s long-time hobbies, running. Although he says he’s nowhere near as strong as her, the journey has shown him the value of a personal challenge.
For Clara, the most positive influence has come from Victor’s relaxed and laidback nature, a complete antithesis to her agitated mind. “I get restless if I feel that my day hasn’t been productive, but Victor has taught me that it’s okay to do nothing. Sometimes, rest can be as productive as ticking off boxes from a to-do list.”
Brussels
In the weekends, Clara regularly accompanies Victor back to Brussels. By now, she knows his parents well and gets treated like family. Clara’s ambition is to improve her French enough so that she can enrol for a master’s in physiotherapy in Brussels. For Victor, who’s been getting headaches from hearing Duolingo’s Ding! every day for the past several months, that B2 certificate couldn’t come soon enough…
Nora Grolig