Tomorrow, I will be flying back home for Christmas. And even though it is my third December comeback since I moved out to study in the Netherlands, it is the first time that I am truly excited about celebrating Jesus’ birthday in my country of origin, Poland. Before, I have been considered a Grinch in every circle I have found myself, as I openly manifested hatred towards the whole phenomenon of Christmas and everything connected to it.
When I was saying that I do not understand why everyone acts so fake, pretending to love spending time with their family throughout this one, magical night, I am sure it was jealousy speaking through me. My family is extremely small, so when my friends would send me pictures of their big families, where four generations feast for three days in a row, I thought it had to be a directed spectacle. I was angry that everyone can have both of their grandparents by their side, while I was scared of sitting down at the Christmas table, as year after year there would be more empty chairs. There was never an atmosphere of happiness – more of eternal grief and sadness. I always thought that family should be appreciated every day and we should care about each other throughout the whole year, not only this one time, when you take pictures in front of the Christmas tree, as only on photographs your kin would look nice.
But having become more mature and independent through the experience of living alone abroad, I now come apart when I am sitting in an airplane on my way to Poland, knowing that in one hour I will be drowning in my mom’s arms as she embraces me. As I see her rarely, I value the Christmas break now and I take it as an opportunity to reunite. And I am proud that the reunion can happen in a country with such a rich tradition when it comes to Christmas. In earlier days, I would have said that Polish traditions are extremely superstitious – but as I explore the lack of traditions in other nations, I am more than happy to eat my Christmas dumpling after sharing a Christmas wafer.
Yet, you could be having a bag of chips for Christmas Eve – the most important thing is with whom you’re sharing it. Merry Christmas everyone.
Rita Wiśniewska is a third-year European Law student