Hardest conversation you’ve ever had with your parents? My parents come from Drenthe, descendants of poor farmers. Thanks to my grandmother’s persuasiveness – she was a clever woman who died to young – my father went to university. He is a civil engineer, worked as a structural engineer for years, and was my teenage role model. In my second year studying civil engineering at the TU Delft, doubts started to creep in. I was progressing as I should, knew lots of the theory – which I enjoyed – but was useless at the design courses, the practical part. Should I drop out and start a more theoretical degree, or carry on and add a second degree? I needed something to spice up my life. When I spoke to my parents about it, I could see how shocked they were, they hadn’t seen this coming at all. But they gave me the room to figure out what suited me. In the end, I did a year of psychology, followed by a year of philosophy [alongside a civil engineering degree], both were a nice change of pace. Philosophy was tough, I failed to pass half the modules.
How many hours a day do you spend on your phone? Half an hour, not much. I’m no tech-geek. At the University of Sheffield [where he worked until 2021], I had an old-fashioned flip phone. Amazing. You only had to charge it once a month. I don’t spend any time on social media. At Sheffield, as the chair of the department, I had to be on Twitter for outreach and marketing; I hated it, awful place. All those anonymous reactions are very annoying. I think if people were forced to leave a name and address, the platform would be a much more civil place.
Little habit. I start every day with two cups of coffee and a Killer Sudoku, a tougher variation on an ordinary sudoku. It’s my morning ritual, just half an hour in my own little bubble. What if I don’t finish it in that time? [Chuckling] That doesn’t happen.
"I can’t always get an eight or a nine, sometimes a six is good enough"
Something that shaped me as a human being. I was working at Delft as an assistant professor, when I was offered a professorship from Sheffield. I thought it was terrifying, and much too soon. At lunch, I shared my thoughts with René de Borst, professor at Delft at the time, my PhD supervisor, and the man who showed me that you can work in academics even if you graduated in engineering. He was silent for a long time and then asked, ‘Harm, why wouldn’t you do it?’ I couldn’t think of any reasons and decided to go for it. A few years later, I was made chair of the department. I learnt a lot there, and quickly. The most important thing? I can’t always get an eight or a nine, sometimes a six is good enough.
I make a good vice-dean, because... I used to be much more about ‘being the best you can be’, a PhD defence, chasing research grants, setting up research projects for your own personal glory. Holding a chair is basically constant self-promotion. Becoming chair of the department changed me. Now I want to help others ‘be the best they can be’, create a framework so others can grow. ‘Do you think it’ll work, can you do it? I’ll say: Go for it!’ Whether that makes me the best man for the job, you’d need to ask other people. My ancestors in Drenthe were a humble people, they would say, ‘Act normal, keep your head down’.
Where would a time machine take you? To Barcelona in the 1930s, at the time of the Spanish Civil War. The city was the centre for the republicans and anarchists, until it was captured by General Franco’s fascist army in 1939. That time sounds fascinating. I’m particularly interested in how the anarchism of the time worked, how did they do it? My mother is a historian. I have lots of history books at home. Every now and then I’ll go down a rabbit hole.
"The kids often ask the same thing repeatedly, and you tell them ‘no’ every time, but there comes a time when, just to make it stop, you just say ‘alright then’. I shouldn’t do that"
The best thing about your partner. I met Inna [Gitman, professor at the Faculty of Science and Engineering] during a conference in Saint Petersburg. Inna is half Russian, half Ukrainian, and grew up near the Ural Mountains in Russia. She was looking for a position as a PhD researcher and we had one in Delft. I fell in love with her joie de vivre, her opportunism. That is almost blasphemous here, but where she’s from, it just means seizing every opportunity. And that is what she always does. She encouraged me to go to Sheffield and become a professor.
My biggest parenting frustration. I find it hard to strike a balance between saying no out of principle and pragmatism. The kids often ask the same thing repeatedly, and you tell them ‘no’ every time, but there comes a time when, just to make it stop, you just say ‘alright then’. I shouldn’t make those short-term decisions. It doesn’t help in the long term. I should first take a moment and think about my answer. My eldest daughter is eighteen, she’s studying at Maastricht, has her own life. The youngest is six years younger. My wife is actually stricter, she is very clear when it comes to saying ‘no’ to behaviour. I have a firmer ‘no’ when it comes to buying things. If they want something, they should earn the money themselves first. I was bullied at school as a child, was such a bright, bookish little boy that I had trouble fitting in. It got better by secondary school. There was lots of support at home during those horrible primary school years.
I’m the chef at home. I love cooking, especially stews or making stock. That’s a weekend thing, when there’s plenty of time. Not that I mind cooking after working all day, it’s one way to release my frustrations [he laughs], especially after a hard day. I’ll chop carrots, bam!, onions, bam! [making a chopping motion]. When we lived in England, we had our own herb garden, delicious. I don’t need a full vegetable patch, I’m too lazy for that. Picking snails off the lettuce, no, life is too short for that.