If you google me… [checks phone] you’ll find my website, which I built for my master’s in industrial design in Eindhoven. We had to create a digital portfolio. I kept it when I started applying for jobs, but I haven’t touched it in ten years.
I’m a bit of a nerd. My girlfriend would agree. I always want to know how things work and enjoy getting to the bottom of things. I also love Star Wars, and the Lord of the Rings film trilogy. That’s usually when you start being labelled a nerd. Although I’m not quite at the level of a good friend of mine who can quote those films word for word. Around this time last year, I watched the extended editions of The Lord of the Rings; they’re even better than the cinematic versions.
I regret… very little. Life goes the way it goes. If I had to pick something, maybe never properly learning to play the guitar. I didn’t have the patience, and now I have a love-hate relationship with it. There’s one in the house, but I rarely play. Have I made any bad life choices? [Laughs] Maybe the order of our relationship – we moved in together before having a child and we still aren’t married. According to my girlfriend, that’s the wrong order. I will pop the question one day. I think it would be a lovely way to affirm our relationship and celebrate it with our friends. It has no religious significance for me. I was raised Catholic, but I don’t believe I have to get married because otherwise God would be upset with me.
“The older I get, the more aware I am of what could go wrong – maybe because I’m a father now”
Moving to Maastricht was a step for me. A small step, but still a step. I was born and raised in Bunde [a nearby village] and stayed there through university. My girlfriend, on the other hand, is a true Maastricht local. When we were house hunting, she drew a circle around the city centre: “This is where I want to live.” And that’s where we managed to end up. After ten years in the city, I can say I love it here.
There’s nothing as boring as… routine. I’m always looking for new stimuli and ways to challenge myself. We’ve been living in our current house for a year now and I’m still finding jobs that need doing. They’re often things I’ve never done before, so I figure out how to do them myself. Bungee jumping for fun? [Laughs] The older I get, the more aware I am of what could go wrong – maybe because I’m a father now. Somewhere in the back of my mind I’d be thinking: what if the cord snaps?
Books I like to reread: 1984 by George Orwell and Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. Both are beautifully written dystopias that make you think about the world today. In 1984, screens manipulate people into obedience; in Brave New World, they’re numbed into an artificially induced sense of happiness. You can see that around you: if we want, we can be distracted all the time. I doomscroll on the sofa sometimes, but it’s important to make an effort to pause and reflect. It would be a shame to one day look back and regret things I didn’t do because I was always distracted or too busy.
My biggest parenting frustration. Lately, our son has been refusing to eat any faster. Everything would be a lot easier if he did. We think it’s important to eat together and we stay at the table until everyone is done. Eating with him has turned into a kind of hour-long mindfulness exercise – that’s how long it takes.
“I love my parents, but I don’t really say it out loud. I’m not sure why. I’d like to say it more often”
When was the last time you cried? Last November. I was having breakfast on a Saturday when my brother called to say our father had been rushed to hospital with heart failure. I shed a few tears then. We had to have difficult conversations with him about death and his wishes. We needed to, because we didn’t know. In hindsight, I wish we’d had those conversations earlier, with less pressure, but at home we never really talked openly about those things. He’s doing better now, but there’s still a lot I haven’t asked him. We’ve all been pulled back into the rat race. I love my parents, but I don’t really say it out loud. I’m not sure why. I’d like to say it more often.
If I had a time machine, I’d go to… ancient Rome, to see what life was like then. And I’d love to travel to the 1960s to see Jimi Hendrix live.
My partner’s most attractive quality. She’s very direct and passionate. I never have to wonder what she’s thinking – I can always tell. We’ve been together for 10 years and we always have a good time together, wherever we are. The covid lockdowns really confirmed that for us; we never felt like we were living on top of each other.
Best decision ever? Studying industrial design in Eindhoven. After my bachelor’s in mechanical engineering, I worked for a year. My first assignment was for the company I’d always said I wanted to work for, but I quickly realised that sitting at a computer all day, in my own bubble, making calculations and technical drawings, wasn’t for me. I didn’t want to do that until retirement. Industrial design, by contrast, taught us about innovation, interactive technology, the business side of things and how to involve users in product and service development. We were given assignments and told, “Off you go, good luck.” That combination of creativity and applied technology pushed me out of my comfort zone and made me stand on my own two feet.
My biggest fear. Something happening to the people closest to me – my parents, girlfriend or child. Ending up in a nightmare situation where I can’t protect them from something terrible. That would be the worst possible thing.