Recently, I gave a lecture about body image to a group of master students. At the end, I also shared my “journey” to academia. One student cautiously asked whether I worked nights and weekends, because they heard “that’s just the way it is” in academia. I told them firmly that I almost never work nights and weekends. I told them that I nearly died from an eating disorder that took root when I worked nonstop for my medical studies, and that experience taught me that there was no job that was worth sacrificing my health for. Yes, I love my work and I am deeply passionate about my topic. But, I also really love other things and people, too.
Later that week, one of the students emailed to thank me on behalf of the group for being open about my experiences and setting a positive example. That felt good to hear and, at the same time, I felt disappointed that these young people had already been taught that being a researcher means sacrificing other important parts of life. I also thought about all the talented young people who might make excellent researchers, but who would be scared away by toxic ideas about “what it takes.”
I am usually able to firmly state my opinion on maintaining well-being. Yet, recently I had an experience that showed me I still have work to do. Namely, I reconnected with a friend who left academia to work in the business sector. I was expressing doubt about an upcoming project, and he proceeded to list many of my talents. As he went on, I felt increasingly uncomfortable and overwhelmed. It felt like he was talking about a different person because how could all of those positive things be ME?
It is scary to speak honestly about the ways we are resisting unhealthy standards in academia and how we might be struggling. It’s a voice that even comes up now, writing this column (e.g., “Who cares what YOU have to say?”). But, if anything is going to change, we need to keep speaking up. And importantly, we need to remember that these challenges are not a sign that there’s something “wrong” with us, but a product of the system we are swimming in and how it can teach us to adopt unhealthy ideas and practices as “normal,” when they shouldn’t be.
Jessica Alleva, assistant professor at the faculty of Psychology and Neuroscience