I was named after… Jadwiga of Poland, a queen in the late Middle Ages. As there was no male heir to the throne, she was crowned ruler of Poland at a time when female monarchs were unusual. She died young but was later canonised. My parents also named my brother and sister after Eastern European saints: Witold and Agnieszka. While I don’t necessarily see Jadwiga as a role model, my name feels quite special because of the connection to her.
I’m a good friend because… I’m very loyal. I’m good at keeping secrets and I take trust seriously. If I think someone is in the wrong, I tell them, but always respectfully and without damaging the relationship. That’s how I stay true to my own moral compass.
This news story makes me angry. What makes me angry is the way major geopolitical issues are framed and handled. Scrolling through the news and reading about Donald Trump threatening to destroy Iran [this interview took place in April] makes me feel powerless and upset. It’s alarming how casually he says such serious things. I also find it hard to accept that one person has so much power to fuel and escalate conflicts, especially since there’s not much ordinary people can do about it.
"I never travel without my analogue camera, you only get one chance with each shot"
Always in my suitcase. I never travel without my analogue camera. For me, the appeal of traditional photography isn’t just the look of the pictures, but also the limitations of the medium. You only get one chance with each shot, so you have to think carefully before pressing the shutter. And it’s exciting that you don’t know exactly what’s on the film until it’s been developed. You occasionally end up with unexpected effects, like overlapping images, that are visually fascinating.
What’s hard about love? I’ve been with my girlfriend for two and a half years. I didn’t have a big coming-out moment. I told my friends and that was it. It’s a little more complicated with my parents. They know I have a girlfriend, but they don’t know her. We never really talk about my sexuality, but they do show me that they love me, which feels like an indirect form of acceptance. Ideally, I’d love to take them to a Pride event one day. But I try not to pressure them – it would only cause tension. That doesn’t mean it never hurts, though. I wish we could be more open about it as a family.
What are you proud of? My role as president of UMPride [Maastricht University’s LGBTQIA+ network]. I see it as a form of “small-scale activism” – not anything huge and high-profile, but something local and concrete. That isn’t to say large-scale systemic change isn’t necessary; quite the opposite, I believe we need it just as much. But politics can often feel distant, whereas I see value in behind-the-scenes initiatives that directly affect people’s daily lives. I can’t legalise same-sex marriage in Poland on my own, but I can contribute to a safe and accessible queer community in Maastricht.
The best advice you ever received. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. I struggle with this, especially in my studies. I tend to keep revising for exams until the last minute, and I feel like I’m doing something wrong when I take a day off. If I get a 7/10 or a 7.5/10, my first thought is that I could’ve done better. At first, I get upset and angry, but then I become kinder to myself: it’s okay as it is. I now try to stay ambitious without being too hard on myself.
"Realistically, it’s about accepting my problems and learning to deal with them"
What’s your biggest fear? Having no money, no food or no roof over my head. It’s quite strange, actually, as I’ve never been in financial trouble. Yet I feel like my situation could take a turn for the worse at any moment. It’s probably because of the way I was raised – my parents were always very careful with money, made sensible decisions and spent very little. It taught me to be frugal in life. I still find it difficult to buy anything non-essential.
Who’s the last person you texted? My girlfriend, Magdalena. She’s currently applying to university and asked me a question about her English exam, but I didn’t know the answer off the top of my head. I told her I’d reply later. Magdalena lives far away, in a small town near Kraków. We text a lot, but we also try to video call regularly and visit each other when we can. We feel freer in the Netherlands than in Poland. People in her neighbourhood stare at us when we’re walking the dog together. It feels uncomfortable and unsafe.
What do you see when you look in the mirror? That’s a difficult question. I struggle with the way I look. My weight in particular is something I’ve struggled with since I was bullied in primary school, even though there’s actually nothing wrong with it. I also see someone who is brave. I’ve taken some big steps, like moving to the Netherlands. Sometimes it feels like I’m living in two different worlds. I’m also proud to be in therapy, working on my insecurities and my tendency to keep raising the bar for myself. Sometimes I hope there will be a moment when all my problems are solved, but realistically, it’s about accepting them and learning to deal with them.
Karlijn van Oosterhout